Bianca Lively: 6 Ways To Cope As A Mom

1/9/16

6 Ways To Cope As A Mom


I've always been one too cater to others, put others before me, give more, love and care.. It's just apart of who I am being a mom and wife. It's something that I can't and won't change about myself because I love being this way. But the one thing I'm not good at, is finding time for myself and balancing being a momma, wife and just me. I've been married for 3 1/2 years (together for 12), and a mom for 2 with another on the way. And I can tell you, it's been the best years of my life, but one thing.. I'm losing myself and my identity as a human being. I am losing myself as a woman. I was noticing that I wasn't as happy as I used to be when it came to taking care of myself. I was that always fit, makeup, manicured nails, always getting dressed type of girl. And I just became a robot mom/wife. Wake, feed, play, feed, play, bath and sleep then do it all over again the next day. I was noticing that my temper was going up because I would see my hard working hubby relaxing on the couch, and I'd get so bitter and angry and find something to complain to him about that he could be helping me with.. So, I had to change myself.  I had to change who I was becoming, and be who I used to be, but this time with a toddler and husband. So here are 6 ways that have helped me cope as a mom and wife everyday so that I don't just become robot mom and am happier with myself as not only a mom and wife, but a lady.

1. Waking up early. I found that going to bed at a decent time and waking up early was exactly what my body and mind needed. I'm up at 6 am everyday, which is two hours before Sophia. So I get two hours of just me time. And that's to do anything I absolutely need too. I do understand this will change when #germbaby2 comes, but for now, I'm truly enjoying it. Lately, I have been getting out of bed, drinking some hot tea, reading my bible and studying a new book that I'm only reading for about 40 days for my marriage.. I have time to sit in peace and quiet, while it's still dark out. I get to watch the sunrise, and just relax my mind and plan the day out to be super mom and wife.
2. Reading a book. I hated reading back in school. Absolutely hated studying, but finding a good book to read and fall into it has been awesome! Whether it be the Bible, a love story, fiction, drama etc. Whatever it is that I may be into at the moment, is what I'm going to read. Right now, it's my Bible and a love story book. And so far, I am loving both of them so much.

3. Going for a walk/jog. Being able to exercise has always helped my mind and body with relaxing and feeling so much happier about myself. If I can't get a workout in, in the two hours of my morning alone, I try to do it with Sophia. She's always been really easy about letting me run on the treadmill while she eats a snack and watches a cartoon on the iPad. But I am trying to squeeze in a little outdoor walk alone just to enjoy the outdoors and recoup. So that's on my agenda in a few weeks, when it's not so cold out.. A breath of fresh winter air while getting in some exercise.

4. Shopping alone. Now, if you're a mom to one, two or more, you know how hard it is to just enjoy a little walk through target (or any store, but I love target haha). You're on a race against the clock. They either have to pee, or they have to eat within an hour or so, or they're just tired and it's nap time.. Going shopping alone, even if you aren't buying anything is awesome! I can walk through every single aisle slowly if I want too. Okay, I really don't do that, but hey maybe I'll try it once. Being able to shop alone gives you the freedom to grab a Starbucks and not share, check off everything that you went there to get, and just relax while you wait in line. No having to rush, and forgetting something, and no having to fight to get to the front of the line because your kids are acting up and are over it.. 

5. Getting pampered. I have been having trouble in this category.. But I finally just realized that having bushy eyebrows and disgusting fingernails and toes was what I needed to fix. And STAT! So, just making an appointment and having it on my calendar makes me feel so girlie and happy. And it makes me actually go. It's so nice to relax and get your nails done.. I used to never fall asleep at a salon till I became a mom. And my manicurist gives you wine and beer while you're there! Can you say spa day for myself after the baby is born?! Haha. Getting my nails done and anything else it I need, makes me feel fresh and beautiful.. Just like that feeling after you work out.. Amazing!

6. Have a girls date. This can fall under a few different categories, but having a girls date and meeting for lunch, dinner even coffee kid-free is great! You know, we all have those friends that don't have kids yet and you haven't been able to catch up with because they just wouldn't understand that sitting at a restaurant with a child and your girlfriend can be distracting. You're focusing on your babe the whole time, in stars did just relaxing and catching up. So, it was time to change that, and not feel so guilty leaving Sophia with her daddy. This momma needs her girls, kid-free and to enjoy a drink at that! (Again, after the baby is born) hahah  
So, being a full-time mom and wife is definitely rewarding, has its ups always. I wouldn't trade being home teaching my daughter the right from wrong and caring for her. But sometimes, you need to recoup and rejuvenate that mind and body so you can be even better at what you already are!
What are some ways that have helped you with having time for yourself as a full-time mom and wife? 
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